Thursday, June 25, 2015

Exhausted But Here

I'm here I'm here I'm here!  I didn't forget you I promise!  Honestly, life has been even more crazy than usual lately.  It's summer which means that our usual routine has flown out the window.  Our kids at school so I can get stuff done isn't happening, so I spend my days cleaning up messes that my cute little monsters continue to make, washing lots and lots of laundry, doing lots of fun activities, and sleeping very little.

In the last few weeks, we've finished dance, started baseball and soccer, done lots of swimming, and gone on a little holiday/vacation while Shawn worked out of town in Omaha, Nebraska.  I haven't even uploaded my pictures to Facebook yet from this crazy past couple weeks.  Maybe I'll do that and work on a real blogpost tomorrow. In the meantime, if you're interested, I've also decided that maybe vlogging would be fun.  It's quite intimidating, but I like the thought of these videos of our fun stuff being around for family videos.  Also, the kids are quite obsessed and we'll probably use my channel for some of their stuff also, until they get their own.  They want so bad to do their own channels, Ben with gaming and Sydney and Rylie with daily doings, toy reviews, and blind boxes/bags. Don't worry, I still take so many pictures, and plan on continuing my blog.  I love my blog, and it's been through a lot with me.  Good ole Attempting To Be a Super Mom has been with me for a long time and isn't going anywhere.

If you are interested though, you can find me here as well.  It's very weird talking to a camera, and I say "so" and "uh" a lot without even realizing it, but surely it will get better with time, right?

Alright, I'm off to bed, as it is super late.  I will sort the pictures from the last couple of weeks out and do a post or two tomorrow.

Goodnight.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

The Saddest Anniversary - My Dad's Death


Friday marks 7 years since the loss of my Dad.  I wish I could say that this time of year gets easier as time goes on, but it really doesn't.  I push my feelings down deep inside and busy myself with house work or kids activities.  I'm not really dealing with it, but this is the only way I know how.  Growing up, we were raised to not really talk about our problems.  Just sweep them under the rug and pretend they aren't there.  This doesn't work too well for me, as I'm quite emotional and not so good at ignoring the problem.  If I'm mad and ignoring a problem, it comes out in a very angry burst eventually, if I'm sad it comes out in several blubbering tear filled moments. With this grief, it comes in waves of panic attacks.  I really probably should have Xanax for days like these.  There will be moments, or even hours at a time, that I'm pretty sure I'm having a heart attack.  There is no warning, it just hits and stays awhile.  Sometimes when I'm alone, I cry, but I try to hide it from the kids.  They know when I get sad, but they don't need to see this level of sobbing.  My face is broken out like a teenager, which I can only assume is due to the stress. 


The whole season is rough for me.  For most people Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years is difficult, but for me it's the beginning of the summer.  It starts with Memorial Day.  That's the first time of the year that we go out to put flowers at his grave or wall really, since he's cremated. A couple weeks later is the anniversary of his death which, I've spent a lone with the kids for the last few years while Shawn was away for work.  I usually have to keep it together and suffer on the inside because I don't have anyone to take over while I fall apart. This year he'll be here but the whole thing has become habit... who knows what will happen.  Father's day is usually a few days to a week or so later.  Father's day, usually is about Shawn and my father-in-law, but I do like to stop by at some point that weekend and leave my dad a card that I have written a nice message in.  I like to think that he's watching me from heaven, and already knows what I have to say (I talk to him a lot on a normal day anyway... some people have imaginary friends, I have my dad) but it's nice to leave the card anyway.  I'd like my loved ones to go out of their way to celebrate me in a sweet way from time to time when I'm gone, I'm sure he would too.  Then a month later comes my birthday.  My dad and I were really close and for some reason, birthdays were a big deal to my dad.  He couldn't always remember people's birthdays so we had them all written on a calendar, but boy did he like to make us feel special.  He liked to give gifts and would get so excited about it.  He always knew what people would love and got the best gifts.  He'd sing and do the whole 9 yards.  I always felt special. Since he's passed, there was a year or two that I wasn't called, texted, or facebooked by a very close family member or two, my cake was pushed off until way late at night, to the point my husband went to wake everyone up to sing to me because they forgot and last year I was made to feel guilty about my choice of restaurant so I changed to accommodate others, I was asked to celebrate a different night to be more convenient to someone else (one of the people I changed the restaurant for) and also told that my own husband forgot my birthday by someone who was just trying to be funny or a jerk or something I don't know.  My birthday has been a mess the last few years and I feel like if my dad were still here, it would be better. I know I sound silly, complaining about my birthday, but really its the bigger picture of who isn't there and should be.


My dad was such a great guy. He was funny.  Really funny and just a good time to be around.  I remember one day he was chasing my sister and I around the driveway and yard licking his lips and jokingly telling us he had to teach us how to kiss.  He coached our softball teams, and was at almost every band performance I ever had, including high school football and basketball games.  He would drive me hours to watch my boyfriend play football at away games he didn't want me driving to.  He gave great advice when I needed him and was a great dad.  I just wish I had more time with him. That's the funny thing about time, isn't it?  There is never enough.  


Our vice president Joe Biden lost his wife and daughter in a car wreck several years ago and recently lost a son to brain cancer.  He was quoted saying "There will come a day, I promise you, and your parents, as well, when the thought of your son or daughter or your husband or wife brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye. It will happen. My prayer for you is that day will come sooner or later. But the only thing I have more experience than you in is this: I'm telling you it will come."  I agree with this for any loved one.  The pain doesn't go away but it's not only sadness when I think of Dad anymore.









My sister and I got memorial tattoos.


And someday I will get the same tattoo he had.  That is after my lower arm tattoo is finished.



Monday, June 1, 2015

Happy Homemaker Monday

HHM



The weather in my neck of the woods:
It appears that today is supposed to be wonderful.  I may take the kids out to the park.  



Things that make me happy: 
Spending all day with the kids for summer break.  Don't get me wrong, sometimes they drive me nutty, but even then, I love getting to be with them.

Menu for this week:
M- Creamed Chip Beef on toast
T- Pizza
W- Chicken curry with rice
Th- Sweet and Sour Pork chops
F-

What's on my TV today: 
I'm watching some vlogs right now as I type this up.

Looking around the house:
My bedroom is a complete tip, I really need to do some work in here. We bought a new shelf for the kitchen, so the kitchen is actually looking quite nice.  Also, last week I completely redid the kids playroom.  I mean, new shelving and toy buckets. It looks so nice in there and the kids can actually put their toys away so much easier.

On my To Do List:

Laundry
Take the kids out to the park
Syd- dance tonight

New Recipe I tried or want to try soon:
Nothing new really.  I did just buy a new cookbook but have been so busy I haven't had time to completely look through it.

In the craft basket:
Nothing at the moment but I've been promising the girls banners with their names on them for over their beds.  I need to get that done.  Also, I'm dying to get back crocheting again.

Looking forward to this week:
Just the usual. Sydney has dance tonight, Ben has baseball practice tomorrow, movie night pizza party (our typical when Shawn is out of town) on Tuesday evening. Shawn comes home on Wednesday and may have a softball game on Thursday evening.  Daddy daughter dance on Friday, and then Ben's baseball game on Saturday morning.

Tips and Tricks:
I can't really think of anything off the top of my head.

My favorite blog post this week: 
I don't have any, haven't had a chance to read anything.

Blog Hopping (a new discovered blog you would like to share with the readers):
Nothing new at the moment.  We've been quite busy.

No words needed (favorite photo or picture):


Lesson learned the past few days:
Hmmm... I can't think of anything even though I'm sure I learned a lot.  I learn something new every day.

On my mind:
Just that I'm exhausted.  I need a weekend to recover from my weekend, yet I'd just pack that full of activities as well.

Devotionals, Scripture Reading, Key Verses:


Monday, May 18, 2015

Happy Homemaker Monday

Whoopsie, I seem to have forgotten to do this post last week, but I'm here now, and isn't that really what matters?

HHM



The weather in my neck of the woods:
It has been so rainy lately, but today, today seems beautiful.  



Things that make me happy: 
This literally just happened and if you follow me on twitter, you already know.  I'm sitting at the kitchen table, typing this post, and a hummingbird flew right up to the window.

Menu for this week:
I don't have one yet.  All I know is that probably tomorrow I will do Sweet and Sour pork chops with basmati rice and a veggie stir fry using zucchini noodles.

What's on my TV today: 
Maybe some Grace and Frankie.  Besides that, I'm not really sure.

Looking around the house:
I have a giant pile of laundry on the couch begging to be folded, a pile of dirty diapers demanding a wash and a dishwasher waiting for me to unload it and reload it with breakfast dishes.  

On my To Do List:
Diapers
Laundry
Dishes
Floors
Sydney has dance this evening as well

New Recipe I tried or want to try soon:
Oh there are so many but at this moment I'm not sure.

In the craft basket:
I need to make Sydney and Rylie's name banners for above their beds this week.  I've been promising it, just haven't had the time.  I need to make the time.  Also, I'm dying to get a little crocheting in.

Looking forward to this week:
It's Ben's last day of school!  Thursday afternoon our summer break will officially begin and I don't have to worry about not being able to do something because we have to pick someone up at a certain time!  Wooohooo watch out parks, museums, zoos, and berry farms.  You are no longer safe as the Tiemann family will be out for adventures.

Tips and Tricks:
I'm completely drawing a blank at the moment.  Darn it.
My favorite blog post this week: 
I have been a bad blog reader lately, but am ready to dig back in and read read read!

Blog Hopping (a new discovered blog you would like to share with the readers):
I love Percy and Grace .  Rebecca is so sweet and very real.  She's a fairly new mum (her daughter only turned a year old a month or two ago) and she and her husband have also been fixing up their beautiful home.  

No words needed (favorite photo or picture):

This little guy lives in between our house and the slab our house is built on.  He spends of and on all day sunning on our front porch and sidewalk.  



Lesson learned the past few days:
Oh there are so many, but to not bring people down, I'll go with, when things seem overwhelming and insane, hang on, just push through and you'll come out on the other side much more relaxed, and really just a better person.

On my mind:
Getting through this last week without losing my mind.  I think this week will be easier than last week though since Shawn is home, Sydney's already out of school and soccer is over for a few weeks.

Devotionals, Scripture Reading, Key Verses:


Week Of Insanity

Ever feel like there just aren't enough hours in the day?  I do! I do! I do!  This week was Sydney's last week of school, Ben's next to last week of school, and Shawn has been out of town for business. I don't even know where to begin, so I guess, I'll start with this last weekend.

Saturday, the kids all had soccer.  Before soccer we went to the Farmer's Market and even ate breakfast there.



Our soccer Saturdays start incredibly early. Sydney's starts at 9 am which means that we have to be ready and there by 8:45.  My husband, myself, and our four children, have to be completely dressed, fed, packed up, and ready to go.  Three of those children have to be in their jerseys or shirts, shorts, shin guards, socks, and cleats.  Immediately following Sydney's soccer is Rylie's at 10:00 and then Ben was at noon.  My in-laws and niece came out to watch the kids play and cheer them on, so that was nice.









After soccer was Ben's end of the season party.  Shawn took all of the kids, including my niece so that I could take his parents downtown for a little mother's day shopping.  She didn't end up wanting anything because she thought it was all too expensive.  I ended up going back the next day and picking up one of the pandora clips she had been eyeing for a while.  I can't believe my husband willingly took all 5 kids to Cici's pizza for a pizza party and games.  He's such a good guy.

That evening, my sister-in-law Kelly, her boyfriend Adam, and our good friend Torren came over. Shawn went out to pick up my Mother's day gift.  I already knew what it was because he had asked me if I wanted it, or wanted to keep looking.  We'd been wanting a swing for the front porch for a while and he really found a great one.  He spent a good chunk of the evening putting it together.


He also bought me two ferns.  I really should say he bought us the ferns and swing, because they were both for all of us.  Isn't that the best kind of gift though? Something we all can enjoy.  After the swing was put together, we all spent the evening, eating pizza, and playing Smash Bros on the Wii U.

Sunday was Mother's day. My wonderful husband brought the kids all downstairs, and had them making mother's day cards while he made pancakes and eggs. I came downstairs, after watching Grey's Anatomy from the DVR, just in time for breakfast.




After breakfast, the kids got dressed, my husband and I laid on the couch watching videos, and then we moseyed to Kansas City for a BBQ.  It was nice to relax and have a nice time talking and the kids playing.






For Mother's day, Shawn gave me a beautiful card, and got me the porch swing, two ferns, and a hanging flowered plant.  All of the kids made me cards, Sydney made me a scarf at school, and Ben gave me magnets with famous works of art including one of his very own art works.  What great gifts!





Ben also filled out a worksheet about me.


In case you can't read it or don't understand his answers they are:
My mom is special because She does laundry
I like it when my Mom Does hugs
My Mom can do many things! I think she's best at running.
My Mom has a pretty smile! I like to make her smile by cis (he says this is kisses but he didn't know how to spell it.)
My Mom is as pretty as a flower
My Mom is smart! She even knows School

I don't know if he's serious or trolling me, but he's a cutie either way.

Monday, was a typical Monday.  I took Ben to school bright and early. It was R for Radical Rainbow day for the first grade at his school.   He was to wear his favorite color of the rainbow.  He wore blue shorts and a red shirt since those are both of his favorite colors. Sydney had dance Monday evening. While I took her, Shawn stayed at home with the kids.  As soon as I got home, he left for basketball. I fixed some savory beef and noodles for dinner.  Shawn was only a little late for dinner.  After eating, we got the kids in pjs and in their beds fast asleep.

Tuesday, we got up, and got Ben to school.  It was S for Sunglasses and Show and Tell day.  He took two of his Skylanders to school for show and tell.  Sydney had a field trip to the Natural History museum that morning and we spent the entire morning fighting over her wearing shoes and jeans not flip flops and a dress, since it was chilly and she'd be doing a lot of walking.  With all of the fighting and crying going on, I forgot to have Ben take his sunglasses, so Shawn ran those up to the school so he'd have them.  I took Sydney to her school and we waited with her until the class left towards the busses.  I couldn't really tag along easily with Rylie and Scotland in tow.  Maybe next year when it's Rylie's turn.  Shawn left to the airport, for a trip to Boston, while we were taking Sydney to school. While Sydney was at school, the little girls and I went to Walmart to pick up a few groceries, hair bows, and new underwear for Rylie.  We managed to find a really nice soft cooler that is perfect sized for a picnic for the entire family.  I was so excited about that.  We ran the groceries back home and then hurried to Sydney's school to pick her up.  Sydney seemed to have an awesome time.  When I picked Ben up from school, he wanted me to come look at the chicks that had hatched.  They were so cute.


That evening we didn't have anything going on, thankfully.  We cooked frozen pizzas, ate them in the living room and watched Paddington.  We loved Paddington.  Scotland seemed to really like it as well.  This was really the first movie I've actually seen her engaged in.



When the movie was over, we picked up the downstairs, ate popsicles outside, and headed up to bed.

While Shawn's out of town, the kids camp out on my floor at the foot of my bed, with their pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals.  We just and lock the bedroom door, and sleep with the TV on.  I call it cocooned in. We Facetimed with Shawn and then the kids and I feel asleep.

Wednesday was T for Tongue Twisters and Thank Yous day for Ben and the rest of the first grade class.  They read a story and wrote tongue twisters, and wrote thank you notes for their teachers.  We were supposed to have a playdate with Ben's friend Jonah and his little sister Emery. Their mom ended up having to work so the playdate was postponed until the next day.  That evening, Ben's soccer practice was also cancelled due to rain.  We just ordered in some Jason's Deli, watched a little TV, and lounged around all night. We Facetimed with my mother-in-law and Shawn before going to bed.

Thursday it rained.  It was such a mess.  The letter of the day was U and it was USA day for the first grade class.  They were supposed to wear red, white, or blue (Ben wore red) and they would be doing activities to celebrate our country. We got Ben off to school and when we got home we immediately started packing food for Sydney's class picnic.  Even though it was raining we still wanted to be prepared even though we didn't know what plan B was. It turned out plan B was a somewhat normal day of school with a picnic on the stage for the students and their families.  While Syd was in class, we walked down to the coffee shop, got a coffee for me and a muffin for Rylie and Scotland to split and walked back to the school.  We sat in the hallway, eating the muffin, reading, chit chatting, and playing while we waited for the picnic. When it was time for the picnic we followed the class down to the stage where they sat out several blankets and passed out birthday cupcakes.  Everyone got out their food and ate while everyone socialized.  It was complete chaos but a really good time.  It makes sad that Sydney is done with preschool.  I just love that school and while I'm sure the other classes teachers are great, the ones Sydney has had, and Ben had, are amazing!  They are just wonderful people and I'm thankful that Rylie will probably have them for the next two years and then Scottie for two years after that. After the picnic we said our goodbyes, shed some tears, collected Sydney's art work, checked out the chicks in her classroom, and then headed home.  On the way out, the girls took a few minutes to play on the piano in the school lobby and then to run around and splash in puddles out in front of the school with friends.








After we picked Ben up from school we came home long enough for Ben to change his clothes before heading to our playdate at Laugh Out Loud.  While we were home, one of our neighbors' dogs came down.  She came after them, as one was trying to get in the car.  Long story short, one of her very large dogs peed on our tomato plant that is in a pot at the end of the sidewalk next to our driveway. I was so upset.  I said "Really? Are you kidding me?" and she looked at her dog, leaned towards him and said "show some respect." and then walked off.  She didn't try to stop her dog or anything.  I was so angry!

We went to Laugh Out Loud and played there for probably almost 3 hours.  The kids just love it and really had a good time with their friends.  I enjoyed talking to their mom for a little bit.  Adult conversation is really nice, especially when your husband is out and you maybe get 15 minutes during a family Facetime session.



We came home and I made yummy chicken quesadillas with rice and beans, then upstairs we went. Shawn was on his flight home so we weren't able to Facetime before the kids went to bed.  I let the kids sleep on the floor again since Shawn wasn't home by bed time. I'm not even really sure what time he got home since I was asleep at the time.

Friday morning, we got Ben up for school and checked the weather.  They were supposed to have field day the week before but it was postponed because of weather. The reschedule date was here and it looked like it was supposed to rain again.  The school emailed telling us to send the kids with a change of clothes and shoes for after field day and that it was still on.  It was also V for Video day for the first grade class.  Shawn stayed with the girls while I went to pick Ben up from school.  It's always nice when he does that.  Ben said he had a fun day at school but he was excited to see his dad since he hadn't yet.  Shawn was still asleep when I took Ben to school.

Friday evening at 5:30 is Daddy Daughter Dance class for Sydney and Shawn. After they were done, they watched our niece Leigha, while Shawn's brother does his Daddy Daughter Dance class with our other niece Langston.  When they were home, Torren met us here and we went out to eat all together.

Saturday morning, started the soccer process all over again. Sydney was at 9, Rylie at 10, and this week Ben was at 2.  It was the last week so they all got medals at the end.















After soccer, Torren came over, we got the kids ready and hurried to Kansas City for our friend Buck's graduation party.  He had just gotten his masters in engineering.  The weather was rough and there was potential for some really nasty storms and tornadoes so instead of driving home through it all, we waited out the storm with my husband's family.  When there was a big enough break in the storm we did the drive back home, put the sleeping kids in their beds, and sat down for a movie.  I'm not a big scary movie fan.  I can watch things like The Exorcist and The Conjuring with only slight heebie jeebies but things that could potentially happen, like Halloween scare the crap out of me.  I really don't like it, especially with Shawn traveling for work and me being home with the kids alone.  Torren said I owed him for all the Real Housewives, Bridget Jones, and Pretty Woman I've made him watch.  He had a movie he's been wanting me to watch called High Tension, and I finally gave in.  I think I watched most of the movie through my shirt.  It terrified me until sort of the end when the twist came.  I felt more relaxed after that but now I can't stop thinking about what must have really happened during the movie. Shawn and I ended up going to bed super late.

Today, Shawn went to the baseball game with a few of his friends. Since his parents were also at the game, the kids and I just hung out at home.  We watched Planes, which we hadn't seen before, and then went out to eat at Mi Ranchito.  Yum!  After we ate, we went for a little drive.  We'd been getting so much rain I wanted to have a look at the river so we drove over to have a look.  It was so beautiful down there.  If it weren't so muddy it might have been nice to have a picnic near the river.



Shawn just got home not too long ago and got straight to work on mowing the lawn.  I've got some picking up, dishes, and diapers to do.  I think since we've had a long weekend we're just going to grab some Chipotle for dinner and maybe watch a movie as a family before going to bed.  I did tell the kids we'd watch the Never Beast.  We still have yet to see that, but honestly, we've been so busy TV has taken a backseat.  Maybe after the kids go to bed, Shawn and I can watch our Game of Thrones, and then more Grace and Frankie on Netflix.  That show is hysterical.

This week is Ben's last week of school!!!  Tuesday he has a field trip to a play and an extra recess and both Wednesday and Thursday are half days.  Wednesdays usually are half days, but he gets out even earlier on Thursday and then is off on Friday.  I can't believe that Thursday afternoon, my baby boy will be a big old second grader! I also can't believe that as of last Thursday afternoon, Sydney is a kindergartener and Rylie is a preschooler.  Next year is going to be so different and so weird, but as they grow, new adventures begin.