A little ranting is healthy...

I always seem to try to do things with Ben around lunch time or nap time. I know it's because that's when Shawn brings me the car and we take him back to work. Since I work evenings and we don't have a car until around noon or one, it makes it hard to do anything else.

Today, it was the library. We went after taking Shawn back to work. I've learned that his patience runs out quickly so if I want any books, those have to be found quickly and first so he can help me find his books after where he doesn't have to be so quiet. Today, he wasn't even happy picking out his books. There was one point where he was playing and laughing with another boy about his age. I couldn't find this child's mother or whoever brought him to the library anywhere, so I let Ben and him play where I could watch them both, picked out some books, and then took this child to the desk in the kids area when I left. I thought it was really sad. I never let Ben out of my sight when we go to any public place or anywhere for that matter including home. How somebody could be so careless with their child is beyond me.

I've been incredibly grumpy lately. I promise I don't try to be. It just seems like I'm too easily stressed out. I've got a lot of crazy family things going on. Work is beyond stressing me out, and then to add to it, the neighbors are driving me insane. I've got one in particular. He start his loud truck to early in the morning and leaves it running for about 20 minutes with the radio blaring, sometimes (yesterday) he gets all of his stuff out in the front yard (I'm assuming he's a carpenter) and begins sawing wood at the crack of dawn. Yesterday, my dog Maya was outside on her lead. Her lead doesn't span any farther than our yard, so she's not bothering anyone, and the neighbor puts his dog on a lead too. The neighbor has told us that his dog is very territorial and can be quite mean. The problem is this dog's lead comes about 6 feet in our yard. Maya is twice the size of this dog, yet she is terrified of it. The man was outside and never said a word when his dog was barking and growling at ours. Maya was shaking at the back door so I let her inside. She went to her kennel and wouldn't come out while that other dog continued barking up at our house from our lawn. I can't really say anything either because every now and then Shawn would let her out not on the lead since she's really good about staying close and she's not mean at all. Those days have come to an end and I feel I still can't say anything because of the past. I'm at a loss, but yesterday I really wanted to choke him with his extension cord. I promise I didn't. I didn't even say anything to him at all. I've just been sitting here stewing on it since yesterday morning. I think I've got it all out now and can hopefully let go of it. Who knows, I've gotten pretty good at hanging onto things lately.

I have severe pregnancy brain. Yesterday when we went out, I forgot Ben's EpiPens. We weren't doing anything where we should have needed them, but it's nice to have them with us just in case. Today, I couldn't find my library card anywhere. Shawn found the one that goes on the key chain for me, but I still wonder where on earth it could have gone. I just had it, not long ago and can't imagine putting it anywhere other than in my wallet.

Ugh, I guess it's time for me to get ready for work... really it's past time for it. At least Ben's napping so that should make it fairly easy to get ready in a hurry.

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