Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. Though my personal preference was for Lux, I found that Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heavy, but with a touch of mellow smoothness. Lifebuoy, on the other hand... (Yechh!) ~ A Christmas Story

You are standing outside the doors of your child's school waiting to pick them up.  The doors open and the children start spilling out into the school yard. Your child's teacher sees you, makes eye contact, and starts walking your way.  They are only about 15 maybe 20 feet away, but the walk to you feels like slow motion as your stomach drops and you want to turn and run, but can't. They tell you, your child did something so awful to a classmate that it makes you cringe and really want to run away.

Surely I am not the only one this has happened to, right?  This is the 3rd time this has happened to me, this year.  When it happens to me, I feel like I've hopped in a time machine and I'm the one getting in trouble at school.  Now I know how my poor mother felt, well feels, since she's still going through all of this with my brother.

I don't know why this keeps happening.  He's doing so well in school and is making lots of friends, but I see my child becoming a bully.  I don't like it one bit.  Right now, he's writing apology notes, not only to the kid he was mean to but to the teacher as well.

The thing I don't understand is, he called his friend a name.  A really bad name.  A name that neither his father or I condone.  Where he thought this was ok is beyond me.  I'm removing youtube and internet access from all of the kids iPads, since I found that the word came from a youtube video that I thought was very child friendly. I've watched a million of these videos with the kids.  They are creepy (grown people video taping themselves playing with toys) but I'd never heard anything like that except in this one.  I'm extremely upset.  We spend all of our time together and I only banish them from the room as I'm doing adult things like making phone calls and on occasion when I'm watching something on TV they can't watch.  I have them in sports and activities, that either their father or I always attend with them.  I've talked and talked to him as well as his sisters about feelings and how we always should be nice, etc.  I don't know what to do to prevent this though.

I could really use some words of encouragement, maybe some stories that don't make me feel so alone, and any tips you may have.


Sandra said…
Oh Liz, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have been extremely lucky in the sense that neither of my kids ever were bullies or called other kids names. They did get in trouble sometimes in school so I know how that feels having the teacher walk up.

To this day, when I talk to a teacher I always feel like I'm back in school LOL

One thing I noticed with my kids though, the few times they did say something mean to another kid, it was because they were being bullied themselves and were defending themselves. Are you sure Ben is not being bullied?

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, it's not a good thing to go through. Just hang in there my friend, I know you're a wonderful mother :)

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