Another Rough Day

Today was and still is a struggle.  Last night, we were up later than the kids should have been.  I know, I'm to blame.  I knew last night that today would be rough.  I didn't realize it would be this bad. I'm on the verge of shutting myself in my room with a giant glass of wine and crying my eyes out while the children fend for themselves downstairs.  I'm not going to, but boy do I want to.

The days have to get better right?  This is just a rough patch, please tell me this is just a rough patch!

Rylie refuses to eat anything I cook.  I know what you mom's are thinking.  She'll eat when she's hungry.  Nope, really she won't.  She cries for something else, something specific.  I love my kids but I'm not making everybody a separate meal. I know, the easy thing would be to just clear the table and then, come time for the next meal, she'll eat.  Can I really send a kid to school without eating, if I know she's hungry?

Today, my five year old invited a friend over without my permission.  It put me on the spot and I should have said no, but I didn't.  That's something I have to live with.  I had plans to lounge around and do a craft and watch a movie or two.  I told them that this morning, but it was no good. Her friend is a sweet girl who was very well behaved, but Sydney felt the need to act out in front of her friend which I wasn't thrilled with. I don't mind the kids having friends over either, I just wanted one day with nothing to do, and today was perfect since it was rainy and cold. Well, we didn't get a craft in or a movie.

The fighting between the kids is beyond what I can handle right now.  Today, Ben had toys on the couch that he wasn't playing with at all.  In fact he was playing in another part of the house, came out to find Rylie playing with the toys he abandoned, so he took them from her and pushed her, not once but twice to the floor. I jumped in and corrected him, or so I thought, but then he started yelling that he'd hurt her if she touched it again. This kind of stuff happens nonstop here and I don't know what to do.  I've tried times outs and grounding them, taking away iPads, video games, tv, and legos. I am so tired of yelling and after yesterday and today, my voice is mostly gone.  No, I'm not sick, just yelling at my kids.

I don't want to be the mom that yells at her kids.  I really don't and to be honest, it doesn't do any good when I do it. Why is it that when I get to yelling and then can't stop, if it doesn't help and doesn't make me feel any better either?

Alright, bed time is here and Ben is finishing up homework.  Wish me luck for a better day tomorrow.  I can't handle too many more of these days.  I already threaten them with me getting a job and the kids going to a daycare that will keep them separate from each other.


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